But God... Part 1

(This story is the first of three, exploring why God allows circumstances and events to happen.)

You’re Not the Boss of Me

Recently, my daughter-in-love Nicole was sitting in carpool line waiting on their oldest daughter Amelia.  Buckled snugly into car seats behind her were their other three children, ages 4, 2, and 8 months.  Suddenly, our four-year-old theologian, Evie, piped out from the farthest row.

“Mom,” she said, “you know you’re really not the boss of me.”

Nicole was caught off balance, as this comment was not the product of any discipline, disagreement, or disagreeable behavior.  It was a very simple statement, spoken in a perfectly calm voice.  “What did you say, Evie?” asked Nicole, thinking, perhaps, she had misheard.

“You and Daddy are not really my boss,” said Evie.  Then, she went on to explain her reasoning, “God and Jesus are my real bosses.”

Nicole responded, “Yes, that’s true.  But, in God’s Word, He tells children to obey their parents in the Lord, for this is right.” (Ephesians 6:1)

Nicole said you could see the concern on Evie’s face, as she heard her mumble, resignedly, “Uh-oh.”

We, too, can reason and react like four year olds when God moves in our lives in a way which is contrary to our plans, our desires, or our logic, resentful that God is moving as the boss in our lives.

Years ago, our first child was born about two weeks early.  I can still remember being wheeled into a delivery room as the doctor said, “I think we have a problem.”  Instead of the joys of giving birth, I remember waking in a room by myself, filled with confusion and questions, yet knowing that something was very wrong.  I began to cry out to the Lord, asking what He thought He was doing in my life, violating the caution of Daniel 4:35:  God does as He will… and none can stop His hand or say to Him, What are you doing?

After what seemed like an eternity, the doctor came into my room, explaining that our daughter had been born with spina bifida, a hole at the base of her spine, and hydrocephalus, or water on the brain.  We began to make arrangements to transfer her to a children’s hospital and, just hours later, the doctor was back to tell us that she had gone into cardiac arrest.  My whole world began to spin, seemingly out of control.  I can remember asking God the same age-old question that Job did repeatedly in Job 3:11, 12, and 23:  Why?

From the time I was very young, my dad, a pastor of a small Baptist church, would direct my brother, sisters, and me to God’s Word for the answer to every question we had.  That’s where I ran, in my own time of personal, emotional, and spiritual crisis, and it is where I still run today for assurance of Who really is the boss of me.  I resisted and resented the will of God for my life at that time, challenging Him and His authority over me.  Slowly, I began to hear God speak words of comfort and peace to me about His motives in my life, in our daughter’s life, and in the lives of all who turn to Him.

Gerry, I have loved you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 33:3)

Gerry, I love your daughter with a love which compelled me to let My only begotten Son die for her.  I love her more than you could ever love her.  (I John 3:16)

I have a plan and a purpose for your life and her life, brief though it was, to bring you good and not evil.  (Jeremiah 29:11)

I will withhold no good thing from those who walk uprightly.   (Psalm 84:11)

All things work together for good to them that love the Lord…   (Romans 8:28)

Cast your care upon Him, for He careth for you.   (I Peter 5:7)

Death where is your sting?  Grave, where is your victory?    (I Cor. 15:55)

As I grieved for our baby, picturing the life I was sure would have been, God reminded me that though I felt out of control, He Himself is always in control.  In reality, to question where we find ourselves is to question the character of God Himself.  Though the pain is understandable, the only peace afforded in the midst of such pain is to turn to the Great Healer Himself and to rest in His character of perfect love, grace, and power.

As difficult as burying our daughter was, there are more difficult things that people must face and can only do as they experience the mercy and grace of God through His Son, Jesus Christ.  Death and loss will never be easy; they were not a part of God’s perfect and original plan.  They are the result of mankind’s fall into sin in Genesis 3.

However, just as God made a way of redemption in the Garden of Eden, He makes a way today.  His Son died to defeat both spiritual and physical death. Jesus Christ died that I can live forever, one day, with a daughter whose body is not racked with the imperfections that sometime occur in this miracle of birth.  We sorrow, but not as those who have no hope.  We weep, but not in defeat.  We cry, but one day, with the cry of victory.  Death’s sting is destroyed; the grave has no victory.  

And this is the victory that overcomes the world, our faith…  Faith that God took what Satan meant for evil in our lives and used it for good (Genesis 50:20).  Faith that as I wept in those lonely nights, God caught every tear in His bottle (Psalm 56:8).  Faith that my pain was not wasted pain and that through the blood of Jesus we who trust in Him have been delivered from so great a pain and so great a death (II Corinthians 1).

Thank God that He is, indeed, always the boss of us – that One who loves us eternally and perfectly.  That does not mean that we will never experience pain; it does mean that we never experience it alone or in defeat. 

- Next week, part 2, "God, The Poodle Clipper and A Baby" -

© 2010 Gerry Sisk

(04/07/10)