Everybody Needs A Do-Over

Everybody Needs a Do-Over

One night, when our children were small, I can remember falling into bed after an exhausting day.  Our older son had an ear infection, our younger son had a horrible case of chicken pox, my husband was out of town on business, and it was raining.  I had lost my patience with the boys, including the older one who was out of town, and I had put the two little ones into bed, crying – all three of us.  As I slipped out of the room, I heard our younger son say to his brother, “Boy, she can be a mean mommy!”

As I lay there, under my personal juniper tree, I began to weep in my exhaustion, impatience, and defeat, certain that if anyone opened a dictionary to the words “mean mommy,” my picture would be next to the definition.  I was sure that my picture was also  next to the definition of “mean wife,” since I had snapped at my husband on the phone earlier when he told me he was eating in a fine restaurant somewhere in Sweden.  I had seen only Spaghettios, canned peaches, and chicken noodle soup (from a can) all day long.  I knew that my patience allotment for the day had expired somewhere around 3 p.m. that day, and I had not put the boys down until nearly 10 p.m.  I was certain that I was a failure beyond hope, that I had damaged our boys for life, and that my husband was questioning his choice to marry me from thousands of miles away and across the ocean.  Even more than all of that, I was certain I had disappointed my heavenly Father.

I began to pour out all of my burdens, my frustrations, and, yes, my sins of anger, self-pity, and discontent with where I had found myself on so many levels that day.  I began to claim the promise of I John 1:9, confessing my sins to my Father and trusting His faithfulness to forgive me and cleanse me from all that I had allowed to generate misery that day.  I would confess to and ask forgiveness from my sons and husband the next day.  I could not undo what had been done; no computer key for that edit.  However, I could trust the Lord to help me live better for Him the next day.  I only prayed that the two little guys sleeping in the other room could forgive “mean mommy.”

The next morning, as I heard them awaken, I slipped to their door, praying and asking God to help me to love His boys and His legacy and to give them His forgiving spirit.  Suddenly, our youngest son caught sight of me from his bunk bed.  His smile lit the room, as he called out, “Hi, Mommy.  It’s going to be a great day!”  At that moment, I heard Lamentations 3:22-23, “It’s just by God’s mercy that we haven’t all been consumed.  His mercies never fail.  They are fresh every morning.  Great is His faithfulness!”  We were starting over fresh that morning!  What a joy it is to get a spiritual “do over.”  We all need them, sometime.

© 2010 Gerry Sisk

(07/21/10)