Reservations - Juniper Hotel

Reservations for One Day Only at the Juniper Tree Hotel

When I was younger and struggled with my emotions on a monthly basis, my husband decided it was time for me to see my doctor.  I know his personal prayer was that the doctor would “fix” me.  As my doctor listened patiently, I explained my runaway moods and my challenges with apparent self-control.  He was a wonderful doctor and explained to me the perils of fluid retention, salt, chocolate, and caffeine cravings, and the beginnings of the forerunner of menopause.  Though embarrassed that I hadn’t recognized my own symptomatic behavior, I was encouraged that there seemed to be a physiological reason for my struggles.  As I listened carefully to required dietary adjustments, I also was excited to be able to share with my husband and two teenage sons that there was a reason for my ups and downs, rooted in physical medicine.  During dinner that night, I explained to them that the doctor had said women could actually retain water throughout their bodies, including their brains, resulting in physical aches and pains and emotional swings.  I told them we would be cooking with less salt, indulging in fewer salty snacks, and avoiding caffeine.  I also promised I would try to be more sensitive to my emotions. 

Unfortunately, the only thing my husband and sons understood was that I was subject to depression and mood swings because my brain swelled on a regular basis.  From that day forward, for several years, I would go home from work, only to find pieces of paper taped around the kitchen and the house proclaiming, in large print:  BRAIN SWELL ALERT.  My husband often said that when he came home from work, he always knew it was going to be a rough day when I had on my deep green velvet robe and was lying on our deep green couch in a dark room, resembling a rather large frog blending into a hole.

That was a very dark and difficult time in my life, following my husband having a heart attack at forty-two years of age, my having breast surgery for a suspicious lump, and, to cap it all off, a forced relocation from Texas to Georgia.  I like to tell people that I got from Texas to Georgia the same way all submissive wives do:  I was kicking and screaming through Louisiana and Mississippi, and I had the dry heaves by the time I got to Alabama.  I knew I should be grateful for my husband’s recovered health, that the lump was benign, and that my husband still had a job.  However, I confess that it was a struggle for my emotions to get where my mind and heart wanted to be.

Eventually, by God’s grace and through His faithfulness, my joy returned, and, on this side of that particular time and chasm, I learned some things about myself which parallel, to a very small degree, some of the truths Elijah experienced in I Kings 19.  On occasion, I have been forced to re-visit some of these principles

Elijah’s story is a great story.  In I Kings 18, he had just had a throw down with the prophets of Jezebel, a godless queen of Judah who worshipped Baal, an idol of Canaan.  Elijah had challenged the prophets of Baal to call down the power of their god, to no avail.  When Elijah prayed, however, God’s power came down and consumed his offering to the Lord God.  The people of Israel who were watching had overcome the heathen prophets and proclaimed Jehovah God as Lord.

In I Kings 19, however, Elijah’s demonstrates his own struggle with brain swell, as his emotions begin to dictate his behavior.  The story of Elijah’s triumph on Mt. Carmel over the prophets of Baal gets to Jezebel, who issues a threat that Elijah would be as dead as her prophets within twenty-four hours.  This great, strong man of God, Elijah, then begins his journey to the juniper tree of defeat.  What four hundred heathen prophets could not accomplish was accomplished easily by one powerful, bitter, and vindictive woman!

Elijah heard of Jezebel’s threat and I Kings 19:3-4 says that he turned and ran for his life, away from the victory of Mt. Carmel, away from the people of God, away from God’s purpose for his life.  He even forbade his faithful servant to go with him as he continued in solitude into Beersheba, where he finally fell to the ground under a juniper tree and he told the Lord God that he could not go on.

God’s grace is so precious as the story goes on to say that the angel of the Lord, whom many believe to be Jesus Christ Himself, ministered to Elijah with fresh water and a freshly baked cake, not once, but twice.  The angel told Elijah to just rest for awhile, as He sustained Elijah with the bread and water of life.  He went on to tell Elijah that the journey was just too much for him for the moment.  However, after feeding Elijah twice, giving him water twice, and encouraging him twice, the angel said, “Now, get up, get your clothes on, and tell God what your issues are.”  Elijah obeyed, God answered, and God sent Elisha as a helper and, eventually, successor to Elijah’s ministry.

The truths I learned from Elijah about myself and my struggles with defeat are still true today.  First, it often follows physical fatigue or exhausted emotions.  Second, it can follow a personal sense of triumph or pride.  It can even follow a sense of victory over some personal, professional, or spiritual victory.  Next may follow a loss of focus, an overreaction, or unclear thinking and physical or emotional exhaustion.  Isolation, excessive introspection, and a profound sense of self-pity are the next steps in the path to the juniper tree. 

In truth, when I read Elijah’s story of depression and defeat in I Kings 19, my initial reaction in the flesh is, perhaps, to say to him, “Elijah, man up.  How could you doubt God’s provision, His protection, and His purpose for your life?  Don’t you realize that in your fear of the Jezebels of your life, you are doubting the faithfulness of God?” 

However, God – in His infinite mercy and longsuffering – just loved on Elijah, nurtured him for a little while, strengthened him with food and water, and, only then, did He challenge Elijah to leave the juniper tree and to get busy about God’s purpose for His life.  In addition, He gave Elijah a personal assistant, Elisha, to mentor and train! 

God is a good Father.  He understands that all of us are overwhelmed some days and know of nowhere else to go but to run to the juniper tree of exhaustion, defeat, depression, and fear.  However, He loves us far too much to leave us there.  Let Him refresh you today with His Word and His love.  Listen for His voice.  Accept His gift of a godly friend, especially the One who will never leave you nor forsake you.

(07/07/10)