“I did not come to be served, but to serve.” Mark 10:45
Husbands and wives have different God-given roles in marriage. Many misunderstand these roles, believing that Biblical marriage leaves the wife inferior to her husband. This is simply not true. When understood correctly, God’s design for marriage is beautiful and honoring to both men and women. To understand the leadership and submission roles of husband and wife, it is important to look at these in the context of Paul’s writing in Ephesians 5. Before Paul tells husbands to lead, he tells them why they are to lead in Ephesians 5:23: “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church, His body, and is Himself Savior.”
The word, “head,” means authority…but not as in an authoritarian or dictator. There is nothing in this word or passage that makes the husband a drill sergeant. In fact, the opposite is true. The call here is to be a servant-leader…to be the same kind of leader to your wife that Jesus is to His church. You will find that Jesus never forced anyone to do anything. Jesus doesn’t bully the church. He doesn’t throw His weight around. He led by serving…by laying down His life for His followers.
Of all the things that Jesus ever did with His disciples I believe the one memory they never got over was when He washed their feet. There is not a more humble way you can serve someone else than by washing their feet. Husbands, if you will have a foot washing mentality when it comes to your wife, leading her humbly, she will follow you wherever you want to go.
It is a husband’s job to lead. When Adam and Eve ate that forbidden fruit God came calling. Even though Eve ate it first, God came to Adam first. Why? If something isn’t working in your house, it is the husband God will question first. Both as a husband and as a father your first job is to lead; but it is to lead like Jesus.
Dear Lord, thank you for the blessing my wife is to me. I pray that you would help me to prioritize humility and service in our relationship. Help me to lead as Jesus did, sacrificially and lovingly. Amen.