Kerosene on a Match

Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom—there I will give you my love. 
Song of Solomon 7:12 (NIV)

Every morning before I open my Bible, I make Teresa a cup of coffee and keep it warm until she wakes up. In my quiet time, I keep my eyes out for a text if she’d like a top-up. The most romantic thing I do all week is take out the garbage. Second is cleaning my study. Third, and don’t tell her I said this, is letting her cold feet find my legs on a winter night after I’m asleep. That’s the only time divorce has ever crossed my mind.

In today’s verse, Solomon’s bride models this kind of timely thoughtfulness. “Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom—there I will give you my love.” She’s planning to pick fruit with her own hands and carry it home to the man she loves. How thoughtful.

One of the things I’ve learned about marriage is just how important little things are. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to be romantic. You don’t have to do a lot of big things to demonstrate your love. 

Nothing is dynamic unless it’s specific. Marriage thrives on timely thoughtfulness, so here are a few ideas you can try this week: 

● Talk to your spouse today without interruption. 

● Do one small thing together—a walk, an errand, cleaning up. 

● Show physical affection at the start and end of the day, and somewhere in between if you can. 

● Every so often, do something totally unexpected—a note, a foot rub, flowers for no occasion at all.

Little things you barely think about are kerosene on a match. The fires that never burn out are the ones somebody keeps feeding, one small, essential action at a time.

Prayer: Lord, thank You for the small, ordinary chances I get every day to love my spouse well. Forgive me for neglecting to pay attention to the small things like a warm cup of coffee or a note left where they’ll find it. Help me pay attention today, Jesus. Amen.