“Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25
Once Paul establishes the headship of the husband in Ephesians 5, he then tells men how they are to lead: Husbands lead their wives by loving their wives. To make sure husbands understand how to love their wives, Paul takes six verses and 105 words to explain it. Right up front it is evident that love is not an emotion; love is an action. Love is not a feeling; love is doing. Therefore, you don’t have to feel “in love” with your wife in order to love your wife.
When God commanded husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, that was an absolutely revolutionary statement. The type of love Paul describes here is agape – love given to someone regardless of what they have done. Agape extends to the unlovable. It is given to the undeserving. And God does not ask husbands to love their wives this way…He commands them to.
Husbands are to love their wives the same way Jesus loved the Church. So how did Christ love the Church? He gave His life for the Church. If you want to love your wife in this way, you must die to what you want out of the marriage and start living for what you can give to the marriage. Jesus loves the Church so much He did everything He needed to do to help her become what she needs to be, now and forever. A husband’s job is the same…not to drag his wife down but to build her up so that she can be the person God created her to be.
Have you ever thought about what the word “husband” really means? It comes from the words “house-band.” The husband is a band that is to stretch around his wife and his family in order to protect them, provide for them, and preserve them. That is exactly what a knight in shining armor does.
Dear Lord, thank you for giving me the blessing and the opportunity to be a husband. I pray that you would help me to love and lead my family in a way that encourages to become all that you want them to be. Help me to a be a leader worth following in this family. Amen.