The “I Love You” Touch
November 26, 2025
"His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me."
Song of Solomon 2:6 (NIV)
When's the last time you touched your spouse without wanting something from them?
A wife is lying in bed one night when she feels her husband's hand caressing her neck. It slides down her side, stopping below her waist. She thinks it's as wonderful for her as it is for him. He moves closer, does the same thing on the other side, then abruptly stops and moves away. She asks, "Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?" He replies, "I found the remote."
In the great love song of the Bible, written by King Solomon, you read about a touch that captures true intimacy. "His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me." (Song of Solomon 2:6, NIV) This is about affection, not just sexual fulfillment.
Men and women are different. For most men, the number one need is sexual fulfillment through touch. For most women, the number one need is affection through touch.
She wants to be hugged, held, and heard. The majority of her needs are nonsexual.
Women crave affection and conversation the same way men crave physical intimacy. I don't remember where I read this, but someone said that husbands want sex on all days that start with a T: Thursday, Today, Tomorrow, and Tatter day and Tunday. I understand that sometimes you're just not up for it. Be sensitive to those times. Ladies, don't have a headache every night, or if you do, go see a neurologist!
Before you fall asleep tonight, roll over and hold your spouse's hand for two full minutes. Don't say anything or want anything. Just hold their hand. Let that touch communicate: "I'm here. I choose you. You matter to me." That's the language of Song of Solomon. It’s touch that says "I love you" without demanding anything in return.
Prayer: Lord, thank You for my spouse. Teach me to love them the way they need to be loved, not just the way I want to give love. Help me understand that affection isn't a transaction, but a gift. Give me patience to listen, tenderness to touch, and wisdom to know the difference. In Jesus' Name, Amen.