The Towel & the Throne

"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
Mark 10:45 (NIV)

What does it look like when the most powerful man who ever lived kneels down to wash dirty feet?

In today’s verse, Paul says, "the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior." That word “head” means authority. But authority here does not mean authoritarian, and nothing in this word makes a husband a dictator.

You lead your wife the way Jesus leads the church, and Jesus never forces anyone to do anything. I've followed Him a long time, and He has never coerced me. No godly husband should use his power to coerce his wife either.

Picture the scene – Jesus wraps a towel around His waist in the upper room and kneels in front of Peter. This job is reserved for the lowest slave in the house. It’s work no free man ever touches. Jesus reaches for a basin instead of a throne.

Of all the miracles Jesus performs with His disciples, I imagine this one is what burns into their memory. Jesus explains why. "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Mark 10:45, NIV)

So Paul is handing husbands this same towel. Remember that he’s writing to a culture where wives had almost no protection. Unfaithfulness was common, divorce was easy to get, and wives were treated worse than slaves in some homes. Against that backdrop, Paul doesn't tell husbands to tighten their grip. He tells them to kneel.

Leadership in your home was never about demanding your way. Ever noticed how it's physically impossible to look down on someone whose feet you're washing? Your wife's love language may be words or gifts or time, but acts of service belong on your list regardless. Before you sit down together after a long day today, ask what she needs first and do it before you relax. 

Every marriage needs a husband willing to trade the throne for a towel.

Prayer if you’re married: Lord, thank You for kneeling when You could have demanded a throne. Give me that same posture in my own home tonight. Let me lead by serving instead of by insisting on my own way. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Prayer if you’re unmarried: Lord, thank You that You already meet the needs no spouse was ever meant to fully carry, and You are near me right now. Thank you for the way You lead. I pray for each husband I know; give them the grace to be the “head” that serves like Jesus. In Your Name, Amen.